Reality-TV shows love a dramatic departure. In Survivor, the host snuffs out the eliminated castaway’s torch at tribal council, while The Bachelor presents a tension-filled rose ceremony that leaves lovelorn ladies heading home with neither beau nor bloom.

The first exit in the UK series of The Celebrity Traitors leaves them all for dead.

It begins when host Claudia Winkleman leads a suitably sombre, black-clad procession of mourners (ie celebrity contestants) to a cemetery. Then the “murder” victim, once revealed, is put in a closed coffin that’s placed in a shallow grave beneath a headstone bearing their name.

It’s grisly stuff.

And also strangely captivating.

If you’re new to The Traitors franchise, this latest series from the BBC is probably a bit like starting with a fine French champagne – it’s so delicious every other version will seem more like Fruity Lexia.

Currently streaming on Channel Ten at the same time it’s airing in the UK, The Celebrity Traitors features a top-notch cast of 19 who are mostly actual celebrities rather than being famous in an “I got dumped on Married at First Sight” or “You might recognise my biceps from Love Island” kind of way.

Among them are actor, writer and TV host Stephen Fry, presenter Jonathan Ross, actress Celia Imrie (The Thursday Murder Club), comedians Alan Carr and Joe Wilkinson, singers Charlotte Church and Paloma Faith, broadcaster Clare Balding, Olympic diving champion Tom Daley and ex-rugby star Joe Marler.

A becloaked Winkleman channels her best Cruella de Vil ­– “with a touch of Miss Trunchbull” ­– to corral the cast at beautiful 19^th-century Ardross Castle in the Scottish Highlands, where they’re forced to dig their own graves before even being offered a welcoming cup of tea.

“What the friggin’ potatoes is going on?” moans a befuddled and bemused Fry, shovelling soil while sweating into his lemon cardi and blue blazer.

At least he wasn’t wearing a full-length white frock like poor Charlotte. A “grave mistake” indeed, commented The Sun.

It’s a grave business for the celebrity UK cast. Photo: BBC

At the inaugural roundtable at the castle, three contestants are secretly tapped by Winkleman to become “traitors”, then instructed to “go forth and murder” their fellow contestants (the “faithfuls”).

A game of deceit and betrayal ensues as they all undertake a series of missions, the first of which includes a Shakespearean question (Fry’s time to shine), and an actual flaming Trojan house. As the traitors covertly plot to “murder” the faithful one by one, the cast is further whittled down when individuals suspected of betrayal are banished after a roundtable inquisition and vote.

A talent for treachery, a good poker face and the ability to avoid words like “flabbergasted” are essential to stay in the running to win up the £100,000 ($207,000) for charity, and some surprising villains emerge early on. It’s clear friendship won’t stop a celeb getting stabbed in the back (or brushed with poisonous pollen).

@bbc *FLABBERGASTED* 🤯🤯🤯 #TheCelebrityTraitors #TheTraitors #ClaudiaWinkleman #KateGarraway ♬ original sound – BBC

Traitors fans are lapping it all up, even while outraged over the first “killing” and suggesting that one of the celebrities is “morphing into a psycho”.

Some critics have also claimed it is one of the best and funniest seasons yet of the reality show ­– high praise considering Traitors (based on the Dutch TV show De Verraders, which in turn took its format from a party game called Mafia) first aired in the UK in 2022 and has since spawned versions in numerous other countries.

Actor Alan Cumming hosts the US Traitors, also filmed at Ardross Castle, and recently made headlines with his suggestion that US President Donald Trump would be one of his dream cast members.

“I’m sure he’d have a little chaos and turmoil and treachery, so maybe he’d like to come on and be paid for that,” Cumming commented.

He’d be no Alan Carr, though.

Meanwhile, back here, Ten has piggybacked on the success of The Celebrity Traitors UK season by revealing the celebrity cast list for The Traitors Australia, to be hosted by Gretel Killeen and air in 2026.

Aside from Australian Idol judge Ian “Dicko” Dickson, comedian Rhys Nicholson, Olympian Shane Gould, and drag star Kween Kong, most of them are best known from other reality shows.

Still, it should be fun… and you can’t drink French Champagne all the time.